total tommy | bruises Review

by Bea Willis

The emergence of total tommy—a.k.a. Jess Holt—with her debut album, bruises, is an autobiographical odyssey, tracing a period of intense transformation as Holt documents the years she left behind a familiar life, fell in love, came out as queer, and faced heartbreak—all while creating a soundtrack as tumultuous and heartfelt as her journey. Bruises is Holt’s unapologetic introduction to the world: messy, raw, shimmering, and alive, each song a snapshot of newfound freedom and resilience.

Bruises opens with “Adeline,” a letter to her teenage self. The softness of the guitar lines contrasts with Holt’s poignant lyrics, each word laced with her distinct vocal timbre. She doesn’t waste time building dramatic tension; instead, the music drifts in delicately, coaxing the listener into her world. Holt half-whispers, almost as though she’s singing a secret—a fitting opener for an album that gradually reveals more layers. In many ways, “Adeline” is an invitation and a promise for the journey through the whole album: honest storytelling wrapped in grungy, lo-fi warmth.

The album takes a darker turn with “Losing Out,” a track with well-written lyrics wrapped with roiling guitars and simmering angst. Holt’s delivery digs into the emotion of the lyrics, easily moving from gentle to biting, offering lyrics that dig deep, as though dredging up moments best left forgotten but still worth confronting. There’s a bitter edge here—a gritty honesty, as Holt sneers her way through resentment and heartbreak. But the catharsis isn’t just in what Holt says—it’s in how she sings it, the way she shapes each line to hang in the air, daring you to lean in and listen.

One of the highlights, “REAL,” is where Holt’s knack for creating an infectious chorus really shines. Here, we hear shades of raw vulnerability with a gothic twist. There’s a sense of urgency beneath the steady rhythm, and it’s nearly impossible not to find yourself swept along by the pulsing beat. The chorus is very memorable, even a rallying cry, and by the end, you’re left wanting to hit repeat, if only to capture that intensity again.

“SODA” is a shimmering track with its hazy guitars evoking the feeling of sun-drenched afternoons, a flash of warmth amidst the album’s heavier, grungier moments. Holt hues her voice with a softness to build into the lyrics a sense of tentative exploration, both wistful and hopeful, as if reliving a cherished memory for just a little longer. “SODA” is a gentle detour, the kind of track that lingers, inviting you to revel in its simplicity.

Holt also displays her vulnerability with “ribs,” an emotionally bare song written for a friend struggling with anorexia. With nothing to hide behind, Holt’s vocals shine as a beacon of loyalty and love. “I will always listen, answer when you call,” she sings, her voice unwavering amidst soft instrumentation. Moments like this ground bruises as an album crafted from real, lived experiences—ones that aren’t always easy but undeniably human.

If “ribs” is Holt at her most introspective, “microdose” is her at her most exhilarating. It’s a track that pulses with the thrill of infatuation, framed with catchy beats and grungy guitars, capturing the ecstatic highs and sharp edges of relationships. Mixed by Dan Carey, whose work with acts like Fontaines D.C. and Wet Leg has made him a master of balancing grit and gloss, “microdose” acts as the album’s anchor, a beckon of Holt’s ability to inject her music with equal parts excitement and tension.

In “SPIDER,” Holt leans fully into her grunge influences. Inspired by an encounter with a spider in her studio, the song becomes a biting metaphor for friends who cling too tight. Holt’s voice cuts through the fuzz with a palpable confidence, her vocals threaded through a relentless bass line. There’s a swagger here, a sense that she’s embracing both the chaos and the humor of the situation. The track’s energy feels reminiscent of early Nirvana—heavy but not without a wink.

“Girlfriend” and “Amsterdam” round out the album’s final arc, offering contrasting moments of intimacy. “Girlfriend” is radiant, brimming with euphoria, as Holt’s voice lifts above jangling guitars. It’s love in its purest form—joyful and full of promise. Meanwhile, “Amsterdam” turns inward. It’s more somber, capturing the feeling of isolation, even amidst beauty. Here, Holt captures the dichotomy of love—its highs and its haunting quiet moments—with a subtlety that’s striking.

The closing track, “Shark Attacks,” leaves us with a quiet ferocity. There’s an introspective weight to Holt’s delivery, a sense of looking out over the past without the need for a clean resolution. It’s an ending that doesn’t try to tie everything up but instead acknowledges that these stories are still being lived, and there’s power in leaving some questions unanswered.

What makes bruises compelling is the constant juxtaposition of intensity and intimacy, of polish and rawness. Holt’s ability to create a soundscape that feels engaging while still conveying deeply personal lyrics is impressive. It’s a mark of her new musical identity, where her voice orchestrates a story. Throughout the album, Holt draws inspiration from the grunge icons of her youth—Garbage, Hole, Yeah Yeah Yeahs—but doesn’t fall into the trap of imitation. Instead, she scrapes Alternative Rock’s sheen to find what lies beneath tension, truth, and transformation.

For all its bruises and its scars, total tommy’s debut is one of hope and reckoning. It’s a brave introduction from an artist determined to put everything she has out there, without fear or apology. bruises may well be a jumping-off point for Holt, but it’s also a reminder that sometimes the beauty lies in the bruises left behind.

5 Finger Review Rating!

Artist: total tommy
Album: bruises
Label: [PIAS] Recordings

Release Date: November, 29 2024

About the author

Bea Willis

Author

With an unwavering passion for music that began at the tender age of five, I embarked on a journey of self-expression through the piano, later expanding my repertoire to the guitar and the art of singing. As a seasoned performer in cozy coffee shops and harmonious choir ensembles, I've immersed myself in the diverse tapestry of musical genres, seeking to uncover the intricate qualities that strike a chord within our souls.

Beyond my personal experiences, my journalistic pursuits have led me to explore the stories and inspirations behind the melodies we hold dear. As a music journalist, I aim to delve into the heart of each composition, shedding light on the creative minds that have shaped the soundscape of our lives.

In my downtime, you can find me serenading my loyal canine companion with heartfelt tunes on the guitar or indulging in retail therapy to enhance my ever-growing wardrobe. Songwriting holds a special place in my heart, and I yearn for the day when I can share my creative talents with the world. Until then, my passion for uncovering the emotional power within music continues to drive my insightful reviews and analyses, as I journey through the rich landscape of melodies that move us.